On Friday I had an intense coaching session with a fantastic coach, Beth Hand. When we were setting up the meeting, I asked Beth if I would cry during our session. First, you should know that Beth and I have worked together quite a bit over the last 15 years. Second, you should know that every time she coaches me, I cry. Third, you should know that the tears are never sad tears, they're always tears of magical insight and a result of being moved in the deepest sense.
Beth assured me that this session would be different. "We're not doing anything too emotional this time," she promised. Thankfully, I knew better and prepared for an afternoon of vulnerability and yes, tears.
I told Beth my coaching topic: "I understand that it's not bad to make lots of money, but something deeper is holding me back from earning the income I want." We would embark on a line of questioning that would help me understand my deepest motivation for the "soul food work" I do and the deepest motivation for why I hold myself back from making a whole lotta money doing it.
As soon as she asked the first question, my eyes started to well up. "Well that didn't take long," I thought. And we were off on the adventure.
After a series of questions, I named my deepest motivation for the work I do: "Helping people love and adore all of who they are, in their perfection and imperfection, so they can flourish." But even more importantly, I uncovered how my subconscious was "helping me" by holding me back from making money.
Beth's questions helped me see that the hidden motivations for maintaining a modest income were my deep commitment to humility, being a good person and honoring my family. As long as I had a limited amount of money in the bank, I would stay humble, the quiet voices told me. As long as I only focused on serving others, without any (or much) financial reward, I was truly serving humanity. As long as I maintained a similar financial status to what I felt growing up, I was honoring my family's legacy. I had never before seen the gifts I was trying to give myself by staying small. Now that I could see them, I could find a more productive way to honor those beautiful motivations.
My work with Beth helped me make a shift. Over the weekend I thought of all of my gifts and considered how I could fully utilize them while making money. And just like that, my hand moved the fire, and things changed. (See Announcements below.)
What needs to shift inside of you to move the fire that burns in your soul? What change would you have to make to achieve the vision you have for yourself? How are the things that are holding you back trying to serve you?
We are creatures that protect ourselves from change and yes, even success. Examine something you've been trying to change within yourself. With pure curiosity, ask yourself, "How is this resistance serving me?" If you can figure it out, you can stop punishing yourself for how you're not, and start admiring the good intentions you have for yourself. Once you do that, you can stop the behaviors that keep you small and find new ways to honor your deepest intentions.
Announcements
Love your Brand Workshops
Next week I'll be sharing details on the launch of a "Love Your Brand" workshop for small business owners and entrepreneurs. This two-day intensive will help you uncover your business' storyline, values and core messages. With the tools that big brands use to build movements around their products, we'll bring clarity and power to your brand messaging. You'll be able to speak from the heart to motivate employees, attract customers and build a passionate following.
Swans in the Water Programming
I'm also developing a suite of programming called Swans in the Water to help people step into a self-authored life. Have you ever wondered how to break free from the trappings of society to craft a life that's uniquely yours? In my coach training I've been exposed to what feels like the best kept secret for mastering the complexities of life and leadership. I'm ready to bring this to the masses to help you understand how to see the world through a new lens. Swans in the Water is for leaders and individuals seeking a life with more fulfillment, meaning and wisdom.
I'll be sharing more soon, but if you're anxious to hear more about either program, feel free to reach out to me for more information.
Live Big Wheel
We'll be debuting our new Live Big Wheel at the Del RayBusiness Association's First Thursday this week. A huge thank you to Paul Beckman who volunteered to construct a 4-foot carnival-type wheel that will be inspiration for people to live bigger, bolder more authentic lives. Will you land on "Plan an adventure," "Make a new friend," or "Stop holding back?" The wheel will get you thinking about ways you can take action to live a more passionate and fulfilled life. Stop by and take your spin at the 2200 block of Mt. Vernon Avenue in Alexandria, VA this Thursday!